Thursday, July 22, 2010

hurting and healing

As you know, a couple of weeks ago I tripped while running and scraped up my knee pretty badly. It's been slowly but quite surely healing. There was a nasty bit of time where a painful protective layer formed which made my knee quite sensitive and hard to bend fully. Then there's the period of that falling away and leaving behind fresh skin, which is pretty itchy, I must admit! It didn't happen overnight...this whole process has taken over 2 weeks.

I got to thinking about how the initial hurt...well, hurt. But the healing process was pretty darn painful as well. Then I started thinking how that is kinda like life. We get hurt: someone close to us moves away, gets sick, dies, we get some really bad news, or a friend says something mean about us. What ever it is, we've all been hurt. And when we first find out about something or realize something to be true, it hurts! Our heart is crushed, broken and heavy in an instant.

But it's the recovering from that, the healing that hurts the most, for me anyway. The "coming to terms with something", the "getting over something", the "I'm learning to be okay again" that takes a long time and is often more painful.

I'm kinda in the middle of my own healing process right now. It's hard...it's painful...sometimes it feels just as fresh as the day I first got the news. I'm trying to understand that I'll be okay. Not today or tomorrow or next week...but soon. The memories will fade and fall away and I'll have to try really hard to remember certain things. Or maybe I won't try to remember things at all... Maybe that's part of my healing.

Romans 8:28 says this: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." When hurtful things happen in our lives, God is still there. Still working for our good. He doesn't turn His back or let us figure it out on our own. He is right there, ready to help us heal as painlessly as possible. We just have to let Him. I know that He works for my good...and with this hurt (and all my hurts) I'm gonna let Him.

In training news: I had a massive mileage week last week: 44!! It included two long runs...which is why it was so massive. But due to that and maybe some other stuff too, this week has been MUCH lower. I've accumulated just 12mi this week. Ugh. Monday, I hiked with some good friends, which was a fabulous cross training workout. Tuesday, I got 6.6mi in...that felt great! Wednesday, I slept in and the proceeded to work a 13hr day. Today, I got just 2 or so in due to some very painful issues (we'll leave it at that). Maybe my body is just tired and this week will be a bit off. That's okay. This weekend I'll be racking up 12 with a couple good friends...who are muuuuuuch faster than I am but who will slow down enough to run with me.

I do love some good friends/running buddies. :)
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