in process

A work project took a couple coworkers and me to Boston yesterday.  We wandered from the Common and Public Garden, down Comm Ave, over to Newbury Street, and finally up to Boylston.  As I gazed down at the finish line and the photo bridge that is still up crossing the street, I couldn't help but see the stark contrast between last year and this year.  It's not supposed to be like this, was all I could think.  Honestly, it was hard to stand there, thinking about the wreckage and horror that took place on a day that was supposed to be glorious and celebratory.  This bustling street was empty and blocked off.  It's not supposed to be like this.

Forgive me as I try to process my grief.  This event hit close to home for me, in more than just the literal sense.  First, I am processing this as a Christian.  Trying to wrap my head and heart around the fact that there is evil in this world and the fact that God is still in control.  One day, He will make this world right.  But it's not time for that yet. 

Second, I am processing this as a Bostonian.  I've always felt a little bit insulated from major attacks because we are so close to NYC and Washington DC.  Naively, I never thought something like this would happen to Boston.  But it has.  And one thing I've learned from living here is that Bostonians are tough, tough people.  We will not shrink back or stand down.  We will fight for our neighbors and our community.  And we will not cower in fear, but stand up in strength.  Stephen Colbert put it best.  Also, check out the National Anthem at the Bruins game last night.  Breathtaking.

And thirdly, I'm processing this as a runner.  It makes me so angry that whoever did this choose to attack, not only our city, but our marathon.  The realization that they stole the joy and wonder from the finish line of the greatest race (my favorite marathon!) and turned it into something ugly...well, it just makes me sick. 

There is a sign at work (I work at a church) that simply reads: forgiven.  I typically see this and silently thank God that I am forgiven.  But as I read that sign on Tuesday, I prayed for the ability to forgive those who caused this pain to my city.  To forgive them as someone who was made in the image of Christ (though they may not know it); to forgive what they did to the City of Boston and so many of her people; and to forgive what they did to the Boston Marathon.  I'm not there yet.  It will take some time, maybe even a long time, and that is okay.

long runs and taxes

There are a few things in life that you just cannot avoid.  As a runner, training for a marathon, one cannot avoid the long runs.  Long runs can range anywhere between 6mi - 22mi (or even longer if you're training for an Ultra Marathon - anything over the standard 26.2).  You recall a couple of weekends ago I ran two halves.  I counted that as a long run (and rightly so, I believe!).  Last weekend, I logged a slow, ugly 17miles.  This week, I've a 20miler on the schedule.

Long runs aren't meant to be easy; let me tell you they are not.  But they are absolutely necessary - for me, anyway.  I've heard of some people who never run farther than a half in training and go run a full marathon...more power to 'em.  I have to work hard for my marathons!  And I'm glad for that, I like seeing my hard work pay off.

Before the long run, I pack up my Camelbak, 3-4 Gu's, my phone, my ID bracelet, and another form of energy supplement (candy, shotbloks, gum, honey packets, etc).  I think about where I'm going to run, if there will be sidewalks, if there will be hills.  I worry about what the weather will be like and what I should wear.  But when the day of the long run comes, I just go out there and get after it as best I can.

Perhaps the thought of logging 20mi or running for 3.5hrs seems unreasonable to you.  It did to me before I started training for marathons!  I would have tried to avoid something like that at all costs...  But now that I do crazy things like this, I'm finding that I don't want to avoid these runs.  I want to pay my dues to make my experience at the marathon a good one.

Now, has anyone seen a weather report for Boston on Saturday?  ;)

labels

I thought I'd start labeling my posts.  I've been curious as to why people would find and read this blog if they didn't already know me.  I've noticed a few readers from places such as Germany, Mexico, Russia, and more.  Perhaps my friends are just well traveled, or perhaps I have readers whom I have never met!  (That's kind of exciting!)  If that's you, allow me to introduce myself - I'm Angela and I'm a runner.

I was not always labeled a runner.  If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that to be true.  I've been labeled any number of awful things in the past, but have recently been labeled some positive things:  a runner, in-shape, funny, pretty, crazy, pretty crazy (mainly due to this coming weekend), among other things.  It's hard to have the positive labels stick.  It's so much easier, for me anyway, to believe the bad ones.  The labels that tell me I am not all of these good things, rather I am the opposite of those things.

I put my foot down and will not believe that I am the opposite of the good things.  The labels that I stick myself with (or allow others to stick me with) will be the good things about me.  I fully embrace the "pretty crazy" label...in my book, that's a good thing.  :) 

Have you ever been labeled something?  Good or bad?  Are you also thinking about the Wemmicks?!