Friday, November 12, 2010

fitting in and in control

I've felt a little restless lately.  Like I'm not quite sure what I'm doing with my life.  Yeah, I've got a great job, awesome friends and a comfortable life...but something just feels off.  It all began when I turned 31.  I don't even like to say those words - thirty ONE.  I loved being 30, it was awesome.  I was thirty, flirty and thriving. ;)   And running better than I ever had.  But now, I am no longer that fun, carefree 30 year old.  Now I'm 31 and just...O. L. D.  (Just so we're clear, age is relative just as time and distance is relative. I wrote a post about that...)

Here's the thing:  my friends that are my age are married, most of them with 1-2 kids.  I can't just randomly call them up one night and see if they want to go have dinner and watch a movie.  They have responsibilities and  a spouse to think of.  So I end up hanging out with people who are much younger than me.  And while I enjoy that, keeps me feeling young!, I'm not 25 any more.  I want different things, I am at a totally different life stage than they are. what?  Where do I go from here?  Where do I fit in?  I know this may come as a surprise to you...but I feel most like I'm doing what I need to do when I am out on the roads, racking up the miles.  It's focused, there is a goal to achieve, I am in control.  Not so with actual life.  As much as I am in control of my training, I know that God is in control of my life.  And most of the time, I'm very glad and I want to follow where I feel He's leading me.  But what about the times where I don't know where I'm supposed to go or where I belong?  I suppose this is just one of those times.

Speaking of being in control and training...(since I know that's why you read this blog, not to hear my ramblings about life...) this week has been super productive!  I didn't get a chance to run on either Sunday or Monday but took full advantage of my reflective gear and got a load of mileage packed into three days.  Tuesday I ran with a friend on some back roads in Lexington.  Note to self:  buy a headlamp.  It was rainy and dark on curvy roads that we didn't know so well.  That slowed us down a did the fact that I ate too many almonds before heading out.  Another note to self:  don't eat almonds pre-run. Uuuugh.  Total mileage: 3.3

Wednesday had me out and about in Wakefield.  It was clear and calm but also quite chilly!  To get some good mileage in I ran through my neighborhood, into town, around the lake and back the way I came.  I got some good hills in at the beginning and end of the run.  I was shooting for 9miles but as I was on my way home, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped.  It was freeeeeezing.  Total mileage:  8.44

Yesterday was a quick jaunt along Mass Ave in Lexington.  I usually run along the bike path (which follows Mass Ave) but since it's dark and I don't carry Mace, I figured it'd be better to run along the road.  :)  It was a most enjoyable run!  Not too cold or windy and no rain.  Delightful.  Total mileage: 4.06

I'm also excited to report that my Pre-Training is almost complete.  In one month I begin Training.  I can hardly wait...

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